‘What are you doing this weekend?’ I asked, taking a bite of an apple. What I heard on the other end of the phone sounded like random noise. ‘What?’
I heard some fumbling and the pressing of a button. ‘Sorry, you were on speaker.’
‘For how long?’ I frowned.
‘Awhile.’ Lad Boy said. ‘Anyway, I’m going to Cornwall with the family this weekend.’
I frowned again. ‘What am I suppose to do?’
He laughed. ‘Why don’t you hang out with your own family?’
‘I see them all the time.’ I said. ‘I want to go to Cornwall!’
‘Stop whinging.’
‘Fine. I’ll just go hang out with your friends. They like me better anyway.’
‘I know. It’s quite annoying. Brix is back in London.’
‘Oh really?’
‘Yeah, give him a shout. He’ll be kicking around.’
‘I need a car.’
‘You can’t drive.’
‘I know, but the train from here to London is boring.’
‘It’s probably quicker.’
‘Hmm.’ I pondered. ‘What are you doing tonight?’
‘Nothing. I feel horrendous after last night.’
‘I know. I think I’m still drunk.’ I said, putting the apple down. I’d gone off of it.
‘You can come over if you like, but I’ll probably go to bed in about an hour.’
‘Tempting, but I think I’ll stay here.’ I said, rubbing Alex’s head. He was resting all his weight on his paw, which was on my left foot, but it was no matter. I had lost feeling in it about a minute earlier and was too hungover to be bothered by it.
‘Suit yourself.’
‘Have fun this weekend.’ I said.
‘You too. Don’t get into too much trouble.’
‘You know me.’
‘Exactly … so don’t get into too much trouble. I’ll talk to you when I get back.’
‘Alright, byeeee.’
‘Bye.’
I hung up and looked down at Alex von Banterquith. Looking back at me he did a bit of a side to side shuffle with his front paws, getting excited at the attention. All it took was looking into his eyes to make him feel special. ‘I love you!’ I said, rubbing behind his ears. He jumped up and licked my cheek. ‘Ugh!’ I said, wiping it off. ‘Walk!’ I said quickly and he bounded off towards the door. I ran after him, quickly putting on his lead before being dragged out the door by my right arm.
The next morning I sat drinking coffee with Alex resting in my lap. I rang Brix.
‘Alright, mate?’ He said, enthusiastically into the phone.
‘Hey stranger, how are you?’
‘Good, good. Just got home the other night.’
‘How was your trip?’
‘Amazing. Really good.’
‘You’ll have to tell me all about it.’
‘I will.’ He agreed. ‘What are you up to this weekend?’
‘That’s why I’m calling. I’m not up to much really, how about you?’
‘Meeting up with a friend for coffee in about an hour then going out tonight, want to come along?’
‘Sure. Mind if I crash at yours?’
‘No, that’s fine. Why don’t you come over about seven?’
‘Sounds good, see you then.’
‘Bye, mate.’ He said and hung up.
I looked at my watch. It was still morning. Alex was mindlessly licking his paw. ‘As exiting as watching you do that all day is, I think I’m gonna go.’ He looked up at me and opened his mouth and started panting and smiling. I love dogs that look like they’re smiling. ‘Look at that face.’ I said, petting him. I was suddenly overcome with wanting to spend more time with Alex so I said, ‘Walk?’ excitedly and he jumped up, stepping on me in an attempt to bound off of the sofa and towards the door. ‘Agh!’ I yelled as his paw dug into my hip. I limped off towards the door after him.
As Alex ran aimlessly around a park I phoned Millie. ‘Hey, I’m coming to London today, what are you up to?’
‘There’s an exhibition near Covent Garden, want to come along?’
‘What is it?’
‘It’s called the Museum of Broken Relationships. Sounds a bit creepy, but apparently it’s really good.’
‘Intriguing. Sounds good to me. I’m just at home at the moment, when did you want to go?’
‘I can go whenever. When do you think you’ll get to London?’
‘In about an hour or so? Shall I text you when I’m on the train?’
‘Great, speak to you then.’
I called to Alex and headed back home to change.
Once I was almost to London I texted Millie my estimated time of arrival and got the Picadilly line as soon as I was there. I hate the underground on the weekend. Crowded and hot, I stood up against the back door, clutching the blue railing for support. The trip to Covent Garden wasn’t long, but once there I was immediately faced with a wall of people queuing for the elevator. There was a sign which pointed towards the stairs and I shrugged. How far below ground could we be?
Fucking far, is the answer to that daft question.
Halfway up I encountered a girl who looked about my age, panting and resting against the wall. ‘This was a bad choice.’ I said to her, sympathetically. She nodded sadly, and I continued climbing past her. With each flight of stairs I became increasingly sceptical and terrified of the underground. No one should be that far below ground. Seems entirely too dangerous. I finally emerged at the top, only to be faced by a second mini-flight of stairs which was a bit of a slap to the face, but the barriers weren’t far off and I triumphantly swiped my oyster card and emerged into the crowds of Covent Garden. I rang Millie.
‘Hi … I’m here.’ I said, out of breath.
‘I’m in the Starbucks down the street.’ She gave me detailed directions and I found her.
‘So I thought I’d be clever and avoid the queue for the elevator and take the stairs.’
‘Me too!’ Millie said laughing.
‘Horrible decision. It was like Dante’s Inferno!’ I cried.
She laughed. ‘I couldn’t believe how many stairs there were!’
‘I need some water.’ I said, looking around hopelessly at the sea of lattes and black coffees around me. I walked to where you pick up your orders and asked for some tap water, refusing to queue for five minutes to buy a bottle of water for two quid.
Hydrated and fully recovered we walked towards the museum. ‘So what is this about? Broken relationships?’
‘Well … sort of. Apparently people send in things that they’re ex boyfriends or girlfriends gave to them or left behind after the breakup.’
‘I’ve got a few things that could go into that museum.’ I said, sipping my water. ‘Cards, jumpers, shirts, books. I should just dump it all.’
‘You should.’ Millie agreed.
‘But Dale’s jumper is so comfortable.’
‘You wear his jumper still?’
‘No, it’s packed away in a box somewhere. I don’t think I’ll ever wear it again. I don’t even know if he knows I have it. I took it after a … you know, never mind. It’s irrelevant. I’ll burn it.’
‘Give it to charity.’
‘That’s definitely a better, more socially conscious choice. But I’ll probably just bin it. Out of spite.’
‘Spite of people who need charity?’
‘Good point. I’ll take it to Oxfam.’
We got to the museum and it was indeed what Millie had described, and incredibly fascinating. Aside from the occasional typo in the descriptions of the items, I loved it. It was like walking through memories. All those stupid little memories that seem insignificant were given the forum to be something more. It was amazing how many people were there as well. Apparently heartbreak was universal and not just confined to me and my whirlwind romances. A few descriptions were a bit melodramatic, but then again go back in the blog to March and April and tell me that’s not melodramatic.
What struck me the most was that out of all this heartbreak came a common sentiment: I’d rather be alone than go through that again. A photographer from Hong Kong had put together an album of pictures for his ex-girlfriend whose name meant Colour, and all of his photos were of things with the word ‘colour’ … or ‘color’ in Hong Kong … in them. In the end I don’t think he ever gave them to her, and expressed no desire to feel that way about anyone else again.
The one that was perhaps the most blatant portrayal of this was a sign that had been hand-painted in Mexico which read, Mejor sola que mal acompañada, or I’m better alone than in bad company. That’s a bit more realistic than ‘I’ll never love again!’ Though I couldn’t help but recognise some of the complete despair and hopelessness of certain descriptions. Heartbreak is so easy to wallow in, and I’m not even sure what it is that snapped me out of it, aside from the realisation that I’m entirely too important to waste another moment worrying about why things didn’t work out with someone. I rather like ‘mejor sola que mal acompañada’ as a motto in life.
Saying that, though, I went on to spend the next day in some pretty dull company, but that’ll come later.
I walked out of the museum and found Millie waiting outside. ‘Interesting.’ I said.
‘It was kind of sad.’
‘It was. But some things were funny. I liked the Zombie Survival Pack.’
She laughed, ‘That was good.’
‘What do you want to do now?’
‘Don’t mind.’
‘Pub?’
‘Sure.’
We wandered away from the crowds of Covent Garden to a tiny hole-in-the-wall pub nearby that I had found by accident once when trying to escape from a flash flood. It was relatively uncrowded so we got our drinks and went outside to perch in the sun.
‘Oh! I brought you that book I was telling you about.’ She pulled it out of her bag and handed it to me. I looked at the copy of What Is He thinking?! and laughed. ‘I didn’t buy it!’ She said, quickly.
‘Sure.’ I said, smiling.
‘It came for free with a Cosmo magazine.’
‘I think I’d judge you less for buying this book than I do for buying Cosmo. Thanks for this though. Have you read How To Be A Woman yet?’
‘Not yet, no.’
‘I never want to have children after reading one of the chapters.’
‘Really?!’
I nodded solemnly. ‘It. Is. BAD. Like, really bad. Like, so bad that I wanted to go give my mum a hug after I read it.’
‘What happened?!’
‘Well to be fair she admits that she knew nothing about childbirth and thought she was going to die and didn’t actually believe that a baby could come through your cervix.’
‘Babies come through your cervix?!’
‘Apparently. I don’t know! I don’t think I want to know.’
‘Good lord.’ She said, sipping her drink.
‘Though she did go on to have another baby and said that was better, but the horrific tale of the first one is enough to make me want to wait until there’s something like The Island going on and I can have a clone of myself be the surrogate.’
‘Don’t they kill all the clones in that?’
‘Oh yeah. Well, I just hope modern technology figures something out. Is it bad that I’m the kind of person that would schedule a caesarean pregnancy?’
‘I think I might be too posh to push.’ She admitted sheepishly.
‘Is that bad? I don’t know! If you don’t have to push them out, why would you?!’
‘Exactly! It sounds painful.’
‘It sounds excruciating. But, at least I have no need to worry about babies in the immediate future. I don’t want one for at least ten years.’
She laughed. ‘Getting a husband first would help.’
‘Overrated. The whole thing seems overrated. I have things to do, I can’t be worried about making sure my life is on par and parallel with someone else’s right now. I mean, honestly – say I meet someone and we fall in love. That’s fine, but I have a lot of things I want to do other than be in love, and I can’t honestly say that I would prioritise the rest of my life over the love of my life as much as I’d like to say I could. It’s just not how I am when I’m in love, so why risk not doing other things for the sake of being someone’s other half. I’m whole person on my own! … This is getting a bit preachy, I’m sorry.’
She laughed again, ‘It’s a fair point. But my aunt is older and not married, and she probably won’t ever marry. I really don’t want to end up like that.’
‘I don’t think anyone wants to end up like that to be honest. But, why worry about that when you’re in your twenties? I don’t think I’m stable enough right now to commit to someone for the rest of my life. I’m bound to be a completely different person in the next few years, so why worry about that kind of thing now?’
‘I guess.’
‘I am right. Admit it. I am always right.’
Laughing, she finished her drink. ‘Shall we move on?’
‘We shall. I need to find Brix at some point.’ I gave Brix a missed call and we continued back towards the masses. ‘Want to go sit in Trafalgar Square?’
‘Sure.’ Millie said. We stood, staring at the fountain. ‘Why would you want to come here as a tourist? It’s just a bunch of statues and water. And that London 2012 countdown thing is so shit. I mean, really? That’s what they chose? Look at the ship in the bottle up there, that’s more representative of London, not some crap faux art.’
‘Wow, Mills. Never realised you were so passionate about these things.’
‘It is shit though, isn’t it?’
‘Maybe they’ll tear it down after 2012.’
‘I hope so.’
I laughed and my phone began to ring. ‘Hello Mr. Brixton.’
‘Hey, where are you?’
‘Trafalgar Square.’
‘Random.’
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m actually just down near Charing Cross, want to meet me here?’
‘Sure thing.’ I hung up and turned to Millie. ‘Shall we make a move? I feel like this place is angering you.’
She laughed. ‘Yes, let’s go.’
I got to where I was meeting Brix. ‘What are you doing tonight?’
‘Not sure, I’ll text you.’
‘Alright, speak to you later.’
She left and I had a look through the book she had given me before I heard, ‘There she is!’
I looked up and smiled as Brix came up to kiss me hello. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up. I laughed, ‘Good to see you!’
‘You too!’ We caught each other up on what had been happening since we saw each other last as we walked to the underground to head to his.
Once on the train he turned to me and said, ‘So what’s happening with Langdon? Before I left you guys were a bit … close …’
My face turned slightly red out of embarrassment. I rolled my eyes. ‘Well, we might have slept together.’
He laughed. ‘Brilliant. I knew that would happen.’
‘Oh did you?’
‘Yes. So are you guys dating now?’
This was about the tenth time in three days that I had had this conversation. ‘No. We’re not dating. I’m not really sure I even like him to be honest.’
‘Why not? I think he’s really attractive!’
I laughed. ‘Then why don’t you date him?’
‘Maybe I will!’
‘He acts like he uses The Game as his bible.’
Brix laughed loudly. ‘He probably does.’
‘And that is why we are not dating.’
‘So you don’t mind if I set him up with a friend of mine?’
‘Not at all.’
‘You two would make a shit couple anyway.’ I smiled. I was fairly sure that Brix liked me, or at least had liked me at one point, and thus I wasn’t surprised by him trying to dissuade me from being with Langdon. I decided to drop the subject though.
‘So what’s the plan tonight?’
‘Have a few beers at mine and head out? There’s predrinks, but it’s on the other side of town and the underground is a nightmare so I figure just drink at mine first. I think Langdon is coming over as well.’
‘Sounds fine to me.’ I couldn’t escape Langdon. He was everywhere. This is why you should date outside of your circle of immediate friends. And by date I mean shag.
We got back to Brix’s and I watched telly while he showered. Eventually he emerged, fresh and clean. ‘Beer?’ He offered.
‘Sure … When is Langdon coming over?’
He came back with a beer and a smirk. ‘Why don’t you call him if you’re so keen to see him.’
‘I’m not.’ I said as nonchalantly as I could. ‘Just thought it would be fun to play some drinking games so was wondering when he’s going to show.’
‘Just spoke to him, he should be here soon. We can play a game.’
‘Okay!’ I said, getting up off the chair I was in to join him on the sofa.
Brix got up to get some cards and shuffled them as he walked back towards me. ‘It’s pretty complicated. Basically each person takes a turn, and you guess red or black before you pick up a card. If you guess incorrectly you have to drink.’
I sat waiting for more instructions. ‘… Is that it?’
‘That’s it.’ He said, smiling.
I laughed. ‘Alright.’
Fifteen minutes and a couple of beers later there was a knock at the door. Brix jumped up to answer it and I reshuffled the cards. Langdon walked in. ‘Alright ugly?’ He asked sitting down next to me.
‘Look Neil Strauss, stop playing this Game-theory nonsense with me. It won’t work. And stop calling me ugly.’
‘What about fatty?’
‘That’s not even clever, I’m not fat.’
‘It’s funny though in its irony.’
‘Well unless you want me to regress into my aggressively anorexic ways I suggest you don’t.’
I could see throwing the anorexic card at him had worked. His face changed for a moment and then he said, ‘Well maybe you should.’ Then pausing and saying, ‘I’m just kidding. You’re not fat.’
‘I know.’ I said, taking a sip of my beer.
‘You are a bit stupid though.’
‘Ugly, fat and stupid. Could you be any less creative with your insults? Maybe go back and read The Game again, you clearly haven’t studied it well. I could probably pick up girls easier than you could with your shit chat.’
‘This flirting is getting really boring, please stop.’ Brix said. He was sat on a chair across from Langdon and I, with a painfully bored expression.
‘New game?’ I asked, looking back up at Brix.
‘Now that there’s three of us I have a better one.’ Brix explained it and I immediately proved to be better at it than both of them, which clearly upset them.
Brix got up to go to the toilet and as soon as he was out of the room Langdon had his arms around me and was kissing me. I heard the bathroom door open and pushed him off of me. ‘Stop it.’
He laughed. ‘What?’
Brix walked back in and looked at us suspiciously. ‘What are you guys doing?’
‘Nothing.’ I said quickly. ‘I set up the game again.’
‘You did that before I left.’
‘Do you want to play or not?’
‘We need more beer.’ Brix said, looking around and left again.
I sat back against the sofa, and Langdon leaned back next to me, turning his head to look at me. He leaned forwards and kissed me. I leaned away and pushed him lightly. He swung his knee sideways to hit it against mine and I laughed. ‘Ow!’
‘That didn’t hurt.’ He said, squeezing my knee.
I laughed and Brix walked in and immediately rolled his eyes. ‘Right. I need the toilet.’ Langdon announced, standing up.
‘You two can’t sit next to each other anymore. I can’t take this. Go sit over there.’
I laughed. ‘Why don’t you sit here? Put Langdon over there, he’s the problem.’
‘That’s probably true.’ Brix said, and sat down next to me.
Langdon came back in and took the seat opposite us without questioning. We continued our game until we were out of beer and I went to Brix’s room to grab a coat.
‘Come on!’ I heard from the doorway. ‘We’re leaving!’
‘Okay!’ I yelled back. In a panic, I grabbed a tenner and ran for the door, neglecting to pick up my phone, oyster card, and a “call this number if found” note with Brix’s number that he had jokingly put out for me. I only realised I was missing pretty much every essential to a night out once we were at the bus stop. It was too far to go back, and I had ten pounds so that was surely enough to get me through the evening.
Three buses later and I still had the tenner, having been able to talk my way onto each bus with a different excuse each time for why I had no oyster card. My theory is that the drivers really couldn’t care less who pays or not. Unless you look like a tramp or a serial killer I’m sure they’d take just about anyone along for the ride for free.
We got to the club and I immediately began feeling the effects of the drinking game. Brix came and handed me a beer and then introduced me to his friends. After numerous conversations with strangers I went to use the toilet, then came back down and had a chat for the better part of an hour with a friend I had run into randomly. Brix and Langdon had branched out into their respective groups, and when I turned around from the bar to look for them I realised I couldn’t see either of them anywhere. ‘Have you seen Brix?’ I asked my friend.
‘No, not recently. Why?’
‘Well, I’m meant to stay at his, but I have no phone, and now he appears to be gone.’
‘That could be a problem.’
‘I’ll be back.’ After a loop of the club I couldn’t find him. I would later find out that he was in the garden having a cigarette, but convinced that I had been abandoned, and too drunk to stay in the club, I left.
I played a game of bus roulette and hoped for the best. ‘Excuse me, I’m trying to get to [Brix’s side of London].’
‘This is the wrong bus. You need to get off and get this bus going in the opposite direction, and then get the blah blah and then the blah twenty blah.’ Is what I heard.
‘Okay.’ I said, confidently. I had aggressive hiccups, which was another reason I left the club, as it made me appear like a drunken mess. I was immediately taken less seriously, but at least the bus drivers stopped asking me for my oyster card and started being more helpful.
At least an hour later, on about leg three of the thousands of directions it seemed I had been given, I sighed heavily, looking at a map of the bus route. ‘Fuck it.’ I said to no one and hailed a taxi.
He rolled down the passenger side window and I said, ‘Excuse me,’ pausing only to hiccup, ‘but my purse and phone were stolen in the club I was in and I have no way of getting home. I’m terribly sorry to [hiccup] bother you, but is there any way you could take me to …’
He closed his eyes for a moment and gave an annoyed exhale. ‘Get in.’
‘Thank you so, so very much!’
He dropped me off at Brix’s door, but to my dismay Brix wasn’t home. I turned around to see the taxi driver watching and waiting. I walked back up to the window. ‘Do you have anywhere else to go?’
‘Well …’ I bit my lip. ‘It’s just down the street, I’m really, really, so, so sor – ’
‘Get in.’ He sighed.
He dropped me off at Langdon’s flat and a few seconds after pressing the button the door buzzed open. ‘Thank you!’ I shouted and waved to the driver.
‘Be careful!’ He yelled back and drove off.
‘Pfff.’ I exhaled to myself, knowing all too well that his advice was certainly what I needed. What had I been thinking? Wandering around alone at night without money or a phone.
Langdon’s brother, Warren, was standing at the door in his pyjama bottoms. ‘He’s in his room.’
‘I’m really sorry. I can’t get a hold of Brix, and –’
‘It’s okay.’ He said, patting me on the shoulder.
He went back to bed and I walked into the sitting room, collapsing on the sofa. What if Langdon isn’t alone? Maybe he brought someone back. I should sleep here … But why would Warren tell me that he’s here if he’s with someone else? Ugh. I got up and went to Langdon’s room, slowly pushing open the door. He was alone. I exhaled and climbed into bed. He turned over and looked at me.
‘Hello.’ He said, unsurprised.
‘Hi.’ We started kissing and within minutes my pants were off but my dress was still on. A couple of minutes later, however, our enthusiasm had waned and drunken knackeredness had taken over. I rolled towards the wall and he put his arm around me, linking his hand in mine and falling back to sleep quickly.
Blinking my eyes groggily in the grey morning I could hear rain outside and could see my pants lying, strewn aside on top of the duvet. What. The fu—
Langdon rolled onto his back and turned his head towards me, opening his eyes. He frowned for a moment then pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest and his breathing went back to a sleepy rhythm. I fell asleep again, and was woken up some time later by Langdon’s mobile. Langdon didn’t hear it, so I shook him until he woke up, handing him the phone that has ‘Brix’ blinking on the screen.
Langdon answered with a groan. ‘…Yeah mate … Well, I’m really confused … [My name] is in my bed.’ He rubbed my back with his spare hand. ‘…No, she’s not safe. No one is safe in my bed.’ He laughed. ‘Yeah, alright. I’ll tell her … Bye.’
‘Tell me what?’
‘Nothing.’ He said, closing his eyes and rolling over to rest his head above mine.
I laughed. ‘Tell me.’ I said, shaking him.
‘Go back to sleep.’
‘I’m awake. Have sex with me, I’m bored.’
He rolled onto his back. ‘Why don’t you just play with it for awhile.’ He suggested, pulling the covers off of him.
I laughed. ‘That sounds really boring. Why don’t you make me breakfast?’ He exhaled loudly, sitting up.
‘Fine.’ He said, and got up, fumbling around to find pyjama bottoms to put on.
He left the room and I rolled over, reaching for my pants. I put them back on and got up. When I walked out I was greeted by Warren sitting on the sofa. ‘Morning.’
‘I’m terribly sorry that I woke you up last night.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Want to play fifa?’
‘Sure.’ I sat down with him and started selecting my team.
Langdon came in and checked on the breakfast Warren had started cooking. He sprawled out on the sofa next to ours and said, ‘You’re doing it wrong, let me help you.’
I knew it was a trap, but I was too hungover to deal with football anyway so I handed the controller to Langdon. He laughed. ‘Sucker.’
Unbothered, I watched them play. Langdon lost the first match, which he claimed was due to my shit choice in players. We had breakfast and then Warren and Langdon played a rematch. Warren lost and stormed out after calling Langdon a dick. I suppressed laughter until he had left.
‘He’s such a sore loser.’ Langdon said.
‘I hadn’t gathered that.’
We watched telly for awhile, which was fine until he put some shit Channel 4 film on. ‘You’re joking right?’ I said.
‘This film is brilliant.’ He argued.
Warren came in, took a look at the telly and then announced, ‘I’m going out.’
‘Where?’ Langdon asked.
‘Just out for a walk.’
‘Can I come?’ Langdon asked like the tag-along younger brother that he is.
‘No.’ Warren said.
‘Fine, mate. Suit yourself.’ Langdon said, turning back to the telly.
‘See you soon.’ Warren said to me.
‘Bye.’ I replied. A few minutes later I was bored to tears by the film. ‘This film is awful.’ I groaned, but it was to no avail as I had to suffer through the rest of it. The last straw came when Langdon put on GoldTV. ‘I’m not watching Only Fools and Horses.’
‘Why not? This is a great programme.’
I got up and started collecting my things. I walked over to where he was lying and crawled on top of him, wrapping my arms around him. ‘I’m leaving. Thanks for breakfast.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He paused, then asked sceptically, ‘Why are you being nice?’
‘Figured I’d try not being mean to you for a bit.’
‘Why?’
‘Don’t know. It probably won’t last long though.’ I looked up at him and he kissed me. I ran my hand through the back of his hair and he ran his hand down my side and under my dress. After a few minutes I pulled away. ‘Do you want to go get a condom?’
‘Do you want to go get a condom?’
‘No. I don’t know where they are, and you have to put it on anyway, so you get it. I’ll be in charge of taking off my pants.’
‘Fine.’ Langdon said, wriggling out from underneath me to get up.
I upheld my part of the bargain and Langdon reappeared with a condom. ‘You have to be on top.’ Langdon said, sitting down.
‘Fine.’ I leaned over and switched off the telly.
‘Why did you do that?’
‘I’m not having sex with Only Fools and Horses playing in the background.’
‘Whatever.’ He said, pulling me on top of him and kissing me.
Sex with Langdon was much more fun when we were sober and it was in the light of day. Even with the insistence that I do all the work, after a couple of minutes I ended up on the bottom – my position of choice. It’s the lazy woman’s position. It was better than our previous encounters and afterward Langdon collapsed on my chest for awhile before looking up, kissing me, and then getting up.
I reached down for my pants and pulled them on, then stood up and put on my shoes before crossing the room to grab my coat. Langdon walked back in. ‘I wasn’t joking about leaving. I’ve got things to do.’
He laughed and walked over to me. ‘Suit yourself.’ He leaned down and kissed me and then walked me to the door. ‘See you later.’ He said, opening the door.
‘Byeee.’ I said, waving as I walked out.
I went to Brix’s house to collect my things and have a cup of tea while he took the piss out of me about Langdon some more. Once I had enough tea to make me quasi sober enough to brave public transport, I left.
I had bought the Saturday Times the day before and pulled out the magazine to read on the journey home. I was struck by an article by Hannah Betts, ‘Staying Solo is the Truly Brave Choice’.
I contemplated the notion after reading the article. Left, right, and centre it seemed that everyone was trying to justify a solo existence, or give reasons as to why they were too hurt to try love again. What about being too busy to be in love? I’ve never found it particularly difficult to find a relationship, but they’re just not as fun as one would imagine them to be. It entails having to constantly consider someone other than yourself. To be honest, I’m too selfish for that right now, so I’m not sure if being alone is the braver choice, but at least for me, it’s the easier choice.
And that’s how SAO sees it.
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