... thank you to @TommyVillage1 for winning the "Create SAO a Title" Contest. I don't know what it means either. It's apparently from a poem. Now onto the post:
* * *
‘Hiya!’ Lad Boy said, kissing me hello as I opened the door.
‘Allllreeet?’ I said, letting him through.
‘You excited?’
‘Road trip!’ I yelled.
An hour later, on the road with Lad Boy and another one of his friends from home, Finch (short for Finchely Central tube station), I made the cardinal sin of being on a roadtrip with boys. ‘I need a loo stop.’ I didn’t really, but I knew I would within the next hour, and knowing Lad Boy this was an appropriate amount of warning.
‘I kind of want coffee, so that’s good.’ He said.
‘Yeah I’m keen for a coffee break.’ Finch said.
We passed a services sign. ‘Oh good, there’s a rest stop with a Starbucks in five miles.’
‘We’ll stop there.’
I was surprised at how easily persuaded he was to get off the motorway. Five miles later I said, ‘There’s the service station.’
‘Oh yeah.’ Lad Boy said, pulling into the left lane and signalling.
As we neared the exit, he kept a straight line on the road. I started pointing to the left and as we were just about to pass it I yelled, ‘Get off!’
‘Oh yeah.’ Lad boy repeated, and momentarily veered left before veering straight back into his lane and passing the service station. ‘Ohhhh!!!’ He yelled.
‘You’re such a dick!’ I shrieked. Lad Boy and Finch didn’t stop laughing for about half of a mile. I couldn’t help but laugh as well. ‘To be fair, that was quite good.’ I said. ‘Joke’s on you though! I know what you’re like and don’t really need a toilet break … but I will eventually, so please get off at the next one.’
He laughed at his own joke again. ‘Okay.’
Ten miles later there was another service station. ‘Get off.’ I demanded.
‘Alright.’ Lad Boy said, and actually got off the motorway.
‘Thanks!’ I said, surprised.
‘Nottttt!’ He said, as he went around the roundabout and got right back on the motorway. ‘AHHHHHahaha!’ He yelled and he and Finch continued to laugh for the better part of the next minute or so.
I laughed purely at how much enjoyment they got out of this game. ‘This is why I dehydrated myself for the better part of a week prior to us driving to France.’ Lad Boy laughed. ‘Remember when we almost ran out of petrol on the motorway, purely because you refused to stop?’
‘It’s a game.’ Lad Boy said, shrugging.
Finch laughed. ‘And then,’ I said, turning around to Finch, ‘when we literally had to stop because we were running on fumes, the petrol station we chose was out of petrol!’
‘I was literally shitting myself.’ Lad Boy said.
‘Inappropriate use of the hyperbolic “literally”.’ I said, frowning.
‘Literally.’ Finch agreed. ‘So what happened?’
‘We made it to the next service station … barely, because he’s such a dick. Clearly, you haven’t learned your lesson.’
‘Nope.’
We passed a sign listing all the service stations. ‘Ugh. They’re all Costa Coffees.’
‘So?’ Lad Boy asked.
‘I wanted Starbucks.’
‘Waaaaaaaaa.’ He mocked.
‘I hate you.’
‘No you don’t.’
‘I just use you for … nope, there’s nothing I use you for. This relationship is useless.’
‘Not my witty charm?’
‘Definitely not that. Good thing you’re easy on the eyes.’
‘So …’ Finch said from the backseat. ‘Are you two ever going to, like, do it?’
‘Nah.’ I said, dismissively.
‘She’s dating Langdon now, anyway.’ Lad Boy added.
‘Really?!’ Finch asked. ‘Since when?!’
‘Since never.’ I said, punching Lad Boy in the arm.
‘I’m driving! Do you mind?’ He shrieked.
‘I didn’t hit you that hard. And, I’m not dating Langdon.’
‘Just shagging him then?’ Lad Boy asked.
‘Only once. The last time I saw him we didn’t even have sex!’
‘Wait.’ Lad Boy said. ‘What do you mean “the last time”? Have you seen him again?’
‘Well, I went over to his for dinner the other night.’
‘What?!’ Lad Boy yelled.
‘So. You’re seeing him independently of seeing us now?’ Finch asked. ‘Sounds like dating to me, mate.’
‘It isn’t!’
‘Are you going to see him today?’ Lad Boy asked.
‘Probably not, he’s having dinner with some friends tonight.’
‘You know his schedule?!’ Finch yelled.
‘Only because he fucking told me the other day.’
‘And you remembered.’ Lad Boy said, raising his eyebrows.
‘You’re the one who tells people that I’m like an elephant because I never forget anything!’
‘This is true.’
‘Sidenote, you bear no physical resemblance to an elephant. Just saying.’ Finch added.
‘Cheers, my love. Ooh! Service station. One mile.’ I pointed out.
‘Yeah, we’ll stop there. I need a piss.’ Lad Boy said.
‘Charming.’
As the mile to the service station was closing in, it appeared that the service station was also part of a massive junction, which confused Lad Boy and his tiny brain, so he inadvertently missed the turn off altogether. ‘Fuck.’ He said. ‘Sorry, I really was going to stop.’
‘It’s fine, I’m not the one who needs a piss. That’s called instant karma, my friend.’
‘I hate you.’
‘The feeling is mutual.’ I said, placing my hand on his shoulder.
‘Seriously though, do you two love each other or what?’ Finch asked.
‘Like a waffle loves cocaine.’ I said, wistfully.
‘That makes no sense.’ Finch said.
‘I know.’ I said, patting Lad Boy on the shoulder.
We eventually got off the motorway and pulled into the Costa. ‘Want anything?’ I asked Lad Boy as we walked in and he headed towards the toilet.
‘Nah.’
‘Is this going to be the kind of thing where you say no and then have half of whatever I get?’
‘Probably.’ He called as he walked away.
‘Good to know.’ I said to no one.
Back on the motorway, bladders emptied and coffee need fixated, we sang along to the radio. Finch was driving and Lad Boy was eating the remaining three-quarters of my muffin that I didn’t want anymore in the backseat.
‘I thought you weren’t going to date anyone for the rest of the year.’ Finch said.
We had had a heart-to-heart about a month earlier about all of this. I had told him that I’d probably never sleep with Langdon, or anyone new for that matter, for the rest of the year. ‘What resolution and incredible resolve!’ I said, mocking myself.
Finch laughed. ‘So how long exactly have you been dating Langdon?’
‘I’m really not dating him. I don’t even know if I like him!’ Lad Boy laughed from the backseat.
‘We don’t either.’ Finch said. ‘He’s just kind of always been there our whole life … still trying to work out if I like him myself.’ He joked. I think.
I laughed. ‘He’s alright.’
‘Yeah, he’s harmless.’ Finch said.
Lad Boy snorted from the backseat. ‘No. He is not!’
‘How many of your friends has he slept with now?’ Finch asked, looking in the mirror.
‘Lad Boy pretended to count on one hand then looked at me and made a worried face, 'Uhh, two now. Yeah, two.’ He joked.
‘I don’t care.’ I said.
‘Yeah, she’s probably slept with more of my mates.’ Lad Boy said.
‘No I haven’t! Two! Two of your friends.’
‘Have you slept with more people than me yet?’ Lad Boy asked, taking a big bite of the chocolate muffin.
‘No!’
‘You know how many people she’s slept with?’ Finch asked.
‘Sure do.’ He said, smiling at me.
‘I will come back there and hit you.’ I said, swinging and hitting his leg.
‘Ow!’ He laughed. ‘I’m not going to tell!’
‘Tell!’ Finch said.
‘It’s less than me.’ Lad Boy hinted.
‘I fucking hope so, mate.’ Finch said, frowning at me. I laughed. ‘Je-sus.’ Finch said, exaggerating the word.
‘Let’s turn on the radio shall we?’ I said, quickly changing the subject and blasting Radio 1. ‘I’d do Greg James.’ Finch laughed.
‘Who wouldn’t you do?’ I swung back again and hit him square in the knee. ‘Ow!’
‘Ow!’ I mimicked. ‘My knuckle hit your knee.’ I moaned.
‘Good! “Immediate karma”.’ He said in a high-pitched voice that was suppose to represent me.
‘Touché.’ I agreed.
I turned the music up and stuck my arm out the window, leaning my head toward where the sun was shining in. I closed my eyes and soaked up the sun and wind. After about fifteen seconds I stuck my head back in the window, bored. ‘Are we there yet?’
An hour later we were there. Really it was just an errand Lad Boy needed to run, but happened to be in a cool town so Finch and I tagged along. Once business was finished we drove to the coast and sat on the beach for awhile. Not one for idly wasting time, Lad Boy quickly said, ‘Back on the road?’
‘Will you just calm down for one moment?’ I said. ‘Let’s just sit here.’
‘And do what?’
‘Watch the sea?’
‘Bor-ring.’ Lad Boy said.
‘It’s relaxing.’
‘I can watch water anytime.’
‘The Thames is hardly this.’ I said, pointing to the breaking waves.
‘True.’
‘Ten more minutes.’ I said.
‘Five.’ He replied.
‘Fifteen.’ I offered.
‘Deal.’ Then, shortly after, ‘Wait!’
‘Ha, too late!’ I got up and ran towards the water, kicking up sand in my wake. It was a hot enough day to wade in a bit, so I walked through the water, kicking it up as I did so.
‘You’re mental.’ I heard Lad Boy shout from behind me.
I turned my head. ‘Come in!’
We had left our shoes in the car so there was no reason not to. Finch was stood beside me as well. Lad Boy gave in, and after rolling up his trousers, walked in. A couple minutes later he turned to look back toward the car. ‘My mum says never to turn your back on the sea.’ I said.
‘Is that so?’ He asked, turning his back fully to the sea and us.
I walked behind him and said, ‘Because a wave can come and take you!’ I grabbed him as I yelled the last two words.
‘Fuck-ing hell!’ He said, almost falling in. I laughed. ‘Not funny!’ He said.
‘It kind of was.’ Finch said.
‘Are you ready to go yet?’ Lad Boy asked.
‘I suppose.’ I sighed. I love the sea. ‘Maybe when I graduate I’ll move to Australia and pursue my dream of becoming a professional surfer.’
‘Do you surf?’ Finch asked.
‘No. But I could learn I’m sure.’ I said, stomping through the water.
‘Looks well easy.’ Finch mocked.
We got back to the car and drove back to London, making it just in time to sit in traffic for an hour before getting back to Lad Boy’s house. He was clearly knackered from driving and in a foul mood. Well, as foul a mood as he can ever be in I suppose. Him being in a foul mood is basically being quieter and having less banter. ‘You staying at mine?’ He asked as we pulled onto his street, having dropped Finch off.
‘Nah, you have to work tomorrow don’t you?’
‘Yeah.’ He said, yawning.
‘Think I’ll just go home.’
‘Alright. I could have dropped you off.’ I shrugged. He smiled. ‘You’re going to see Langdon aren’t you?’
‘Nooo … maybe. I said I’d call him when we got back.’
He laughed. ‘Typical. Tell him I say hi.’
‘Tell him yourself.’ I said. We got out of the car and kissed goodbye and I walked to the station, neglecting Lad Boy’s offer to walk me because he looked like he was about to pass out.
I called Langdon. No answer. I texted him.
Leaving in 15 unless you want to do something tonight x
Thirteen minutes later, as I was looking at train times, Langdon rang. ‘Hello.’ He said.
‘Hi there.’
‘So what’s this leaving business?’
‘Well, generally, when one has finished for the day they go home. Preferable to sleeping on a street corner, in my opinion at least.’
‘You’re welcome to come over here.’ He offered.
‘And do what?’
‘I don’t know. Watch telly.’
‘I could do that at my house.’
‘Fine then. Don’t come.’
‘Okay.’
‘Get over here.’
I smiled. ‘Fine.’
One bus ride later and I was walking towards his flat. I rang him. ‘I’m downstairs.’ The door in front of me began to buzz and I pulled it open. Walking up the stairs I got to his door and pushed it open. He emerged in the hall. ‘You should really lock that, you know.’
‘I know, strangers keep making their way in. Ahem.’ He said, looking me up and down.
‘What can I say? I see an unlocked door and curiosity gets the best of me.’
‘That’s very dodgy criteria for going into places.’ He said, stepping closer to me and putting his arms around my waist.
‘I know, I should really be more careful.’ I said as he leaned down to kiss me.
He pulled away after a few seconds. ‘Right then, telly?’ He asked. ‘That is why you’re here, isn’t it?’ I laughed.
‘It is. My mum forget to record The Borgias on Sky Atlantic so I need to watch that.’
‘I knew you were using me!’
‘Hm. Yes. It is true, I am using you for sex, the Sky box is just an added bonus.’ I said, thoughtfully before looking up, smiling and kissing him again.
Five minutes later we were kissing, oblivious to Jeremy Irons’ greatness in the background. Five minutes after that I was naked somehow.
Langdon pulled back for a moment. ‘What do you want to do?’
‘Well you could go get a condom.’ I said, suggesting the obvious.
‘You want to do it here?’ He asked.
I looked around. It was a living room with a couch. We were already naked. Why transport the party elsewhere? ‘Um, yeah. Why not?’
‘I’ll be right back.’ He said, quickly getting up.
I waited for a moment until he emerged again, concentrating on putting on a condom as he walked towards me. I laughed. ‘What?’ He asked, looking up.
‘Nothing.’ I said, reaching my arms out for him.
Afterwards, we decided to lie head to foot on the couch naked and watch the episode of The Borgais I had come over to watch (supposedly). It was an odd sort of comfortable. I don't usually lie in a well-lit room, completely naked, watching telly with a boy.
After the programme was over we migrated to the bedroom. ‘I need a shirt to wear.’ I said, rummaging through the clothes on his floor. I picked one up.
‘I wouldn’t wear that one. I wore it to the gym.’
‘Oh you mean that time you went to the gym and stood around watching other people work out?’
‘I worked out!’ He insisted.
‘Whatever.’ I said, laughing and dropping the shirt. ‘This one?’ I asked holding up a different shirt.
‘That will do.’
I put it on and climbed into bed next to him. We started talking about random topics.
‘I was quite sporty in school.’ Langdon said to me in the dark.
‘Really? What did you play?’
‘Everything.’
‘Wow.’ I elongated each letter. ‘Were you just, like, so good at it?’ I mocked, feigning interest.
‘I was.’ Langdon said, unbothered.
‘I doubt that.’
‘Do you want a punch in the face?’ It was a common response, which was in such jest that it never even warranted a gesture along with it.
‘I don’t know.’ I said, thoughtfully. ‘I’ve never been punched in the face before. So, can’t really say that I’d hate it for sure.’
‘I’ve been punched in the face.’
I raised my head from where it was resting on Langdon’s chest. ‘I believe that.’ I said, resting my chin on my folded hands below his head.
‘Many times.’
‘You have a very punchable face. I think about it all the time.’
‘Oh really?’ He smirked.
‘Yes. In fact I kind of want to punch you in the face right now.’ I paused. ‘But I won’t, your mug is ugly enough as it is.’ I leaned forward and kissed him.
‘I’m not ugly.’ He argued, pulling his mouth away.
‘No, of course not.’ I said, unconvincingly. He reached his hand down to my foot and started tickling it. I screamed. ‘No!’ I started laughing and convulsing. ‘Don’t!’
‘Oh, what? Are you … ticklish?’ He asked, moving his hands to my waist and tickling me more.
I shrieked and laughed harder. ‘STOP!’ I cried, tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. He eventually stopped, but my laughter persisted for at least a minute before I could calm down again. He laughed at me as I wiped the tears from my face and kissed me. I could only kiss him for a moment before I started laughing again.
‘What?’ He said, his face still pressed to mine.
I couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Everything tickles! Your mouth tickles. This is entirely your fault.’
‘Even … this?’ He said, grabbing my waist.
I convulsed with laughter again, finally wrapping my arms around his neck and simultaneously kissing him in an attempt to stifle the incessant laughing. It eventually worked, but by that time I was so knackered from all the laughing that I rolled onto my back and fell asleep.
I opened my eyes to the morning light, and to Langdon’s breath on my collarbone. Moments later his Blackberry began to vibrate and make sounds. I shook him gently. He convulsed slightly and woke up, grabbing his phone and making it stop. He rolled over and wrapped himself around me, resting his head on my chest. I rested my head on top of his and waited the five minutes it would take for his alarm to go off again before gently shaking him awake again. He groaned and turned it off. This went on for thirty minutes before he finally groaned loudly and picked up his phone, taking a long look at it and turning the alarm off. He let his head fall back heavily before exhaling loudly and getting up to take a shower. He came back into the room and said, ‘You should probably get dressed too.’
I perched myself up on my elbow, resting my head in my hand. ‘Is that so?’
‘Nah, you can stay if you want.’
‘That’s alright. I have things to do.’
‘You know, you always say this, but I never hear about these “things” you have to do.’
‘Well,’ I began telling him about the things.
‘Hm. Sounds interesting.’ He dropped his head and pretended to fall asleep, snoring loudly.
‘Shut up!’ I said, kicking the covers off and getting up to collect my clothes.
‘You know you have to leave this here, don’t you?’ He said, pulling on the shirt I was wearing.
‘What?! No! I was going to add it to my shrine of you.’ I mocked.
He laughed and grabbed the bottom of the shirt again, pulling me towards him with it and kissing me. ‘You’re mental.’
‘I know.’ I said, taking the shirt off and throwing it on the bed.
He leaned down to kiss me. ‘Mmm.’ He said, pulling away.
‘My clothes are in the sitting room.’ I said, dismissively and turned to go get them.
As I pulled my dress over my head he emerged in the room just in time to catch a glimpse of me pre-clothed. ‘So, you don’t want to stay here?’
‘Nein, danke.’ I still hadn’t shook the inadvertent German responses to things that I had developed when with Beisse.
‘What?’ He asked.
‘Nothing. Ready?’ I asked, picking up my bag.
‘Let’s do one.’ He said, grabbing his keys and making a move for the door.
We walked towards the station and I pulled out my Wayfarers, putting them on to block the morning sun. We discussed something banal like his shoes as we walked and when we got to the station he leaned down and kissed me.
‘See you soon, yeah?’ He asked.
‘Yeah.’ I replied, still half awake.
He smiled and kissed me again before we went our separate ways.
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