I sprinted out of the college gates, clutching my purse and phone in one hand as I threw my scarf around my neck with the other. Lad Boy had texted me earlier.
Pub tonight? Haven’t seen you in ages! xx
Absofuckinlutely! xx I had replied.
Great, see you at 5 xx
It was 4:50, but Lad Boy was always two minutes early to everything, and I was generally about ten minutes late. Not today though. I was determined to beat him there so I didn’t have to hear his speech on being prompt ah-gain.
The pub was local to my college, but not local enough. I had slowed to a speed walk as I didn’t want to arrive all sweaty and dishevelled. I looked at my phone. 4:55. I could make it! I rounded the corner and pushed through the door a minute later and looked around, triumphantly. I had made it four minutes early and there was no sign of Lad Boy.
‘There’s my girl!’
I turned around and he was sitting at a table behind me near a fruit machine.
‘Bollocks! Why say “five” if really you mean five to five??’
He smiled and stood up. I threw my arms around him and we kissed on the cheek.
‘What are you doing lurking over there by the fruit machine anyway?’
‘Won ten quid, didn’t I?’
‘Drinks on you then?’
‘Already got you one.’
‘You absolute legend.’
We sat at the table across from each other. ‘So what’s been going on? When was the last time I saw you?’
I thought about it for a second. ‘I have no idea, but it’s been way too long.’
‘Agreed. Let’s not do that again.’
‘Shit!’ I said, slapping my palm to my forehead. ‘I forgot your birthday present.’ It had been his birthday the week before.
‘You nightmare.’
‘I know! I’m sorry, but now you have an excuse to see me again soon.’
‘As if I need any more excuses to see you.’
‘Oh, stop it …’ I smiled, he was quite the charmer, which is probably why he is about as lucky with the ladies as I am with the fellas, if not more so. In addition to being charming he also looked as if he had just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren advert. We continued talking about what had been going on recently and after he had finished telling me about some girl he had slept with the weekend before I casually dropped the Dale bomb on him. ‘By the way I have a new boyfriend.’
‘Fucking hell, you don’t waste any time do you?’ He said, almost spitting out his beer.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Didn’t you just have a boyfriend.’
‘He’s so two thousand and ten. Besides, we broke up ages ago!’
He shrugged, and said ‘What-evuh’ in a mockingly feminine voice. ‘Aw, so does this mean that you’re not my birthday present?’
His question almost knocked me off my chair. I had been immediately attracted to Lad Boy when I first met him, but things never kicked off and I assumed he wanted to keep things platonic. ‘Afraid not,’ I said, not conveying any shock whatsoever in my tone. ‘You had your chance!’
‘Yeah, apparently! How come I didn’t know about it?’ I laughed. I was also slightly relieved. I had always wondered why he never tried it on with me when we first met, but had forgotten about it once we became such good mates. I don’t regret not trying it on with him, as he’s now one of my very best friends, but it was validating to know I wouldn’t have been shot down.
‘Come on, what’s his name then?’
‘Dale.’
‘Do you love him?’ He said in a tone reminiscent of Simon from the Inbetweeners. I smiled and my cheeks started to burn.
‘You fucking love him!’
‘Shut up.’
‘No denial! You love him.’
I smiled. ‘You’re aware that we just quoted an Inbetweeners scene verbatim?’
‘I am. Remember our marathon session of Inbetweeners last year?’
‘Vaguely. Pretty much only remember up to the first episode of the second season –slash– our tipping point from drunk to belligerent.
‘Good times,’ he said, sipping his beer.
‘Indeed. And what about you? Weren’t you seeing someone from Durham or something?’
‘I am, yeah. But you know I can’t do distance. We’re not in a relationship, but when she comes to visit it’s actually really nice.’ He said, his voice softening.
‘Do you love her?’ I said, imitating him. He smiled. ‘Oh my God, you fucking love her!’
We ridiculed each other a bit more. ‘Right, my round. Same again?’ I said, standing up.
‘Yes please.’
‘So, how’d you meet this Dale?’ He asked as I returned with our drinks.
‘In college. It’s so strange, I had never seen him and then literally kind of just fell into a relationship with him immediately. If you were to see him on the street you would never guess that he was someone I would go for.’
‘Oh, so he’s not some 6’4 rugby playing model?’
‘No, but I did sleep with someone who vaguely fits that description about a month ago.’
‘Ha! You would.’
‘I know, and I did.’
‘Ladddd.’
‘I think I might be a lad stuck in a ridiculously good looking woman’s body.’
‘That sounds accurate.’
‘And in no way is that sad or depressing.’
‘Psh, not at all. Look at us both, getting all serious and shit about relationships. I’m starting to turn into Ube, boring and tied down.’ Ube has been in a serious relationship for almost a year. We rarely see him. ‘I’ve slept with two girls in the span of a day before, now I’m just going between two girls period.’
‘I'm curious about the and shit you refer to.’ He rolled his eyes. He had done work experience in New York the summer before and had come back with some of the most ridiculous chat I had ever heard. I decided to drop it. He thought is sounded cool or whatever. ‘So, two in one day? That’s impressive.’ I decided not to share my own “two in one day” story with him just then. He knew a lot, but he didn’t need to know everything.
‘I’ve slept with well over [a quite obscene number] girls.’
‘Whoa. That’s definitely more than me.’
‘Do you keep count?’
‘Maybe.’ Uh-oh. Here it comes.
‘How many then?’
‘Ehhh,’ I said, rolling my eyes. If there were ever someone I was going to tell it would be him. ‘Guess.’ He guessed his number. ‘Ha!’
‘Higher?!’
‘No! For fuck’s sake. I have a lot of sex, but not that much sex. Plus, you’ve been doing it longer than I have.’
‘True.’ He guessed again.
‘Close enough.’ I told him a ballpark figure which was maybe five off the actual number.
‘Impressive. As long as your number isn’t higher than mine. I can’t be having a girl beating me.’
I laughed. ‘I wasn’t aware this was a competition.’
‘Everything’s a competition, love.’ He said and stood up. ‘Same again?’
‘Go on then.’
He came back and we talked about going on holiday together with some more mates, made weekend plans and just generally took the piss out of each other really. Dale may be my boyfriend, but sometimes it seems as if Lad Boy is my husband.
After our third drink Lad Boy looked at his watch. ‘Right, I’ve got to go.’
‘Hot date?’
‘I wish. I need to get some work done … and then I’ve got a hot date.’
‘Yeah I’ve got to get to college. I’m meeting Dale soon.’
‘Ooooh, look at you all loved up!’
‘Shut up.’
‘You love it.’
‘Maybe a little bit.’
We walked outside and he put his arms around me. ‘Let’s not make not seeing each other for months a habit.’
‘Agreed.’ We went to kiss each other on the cheek, both slightly misjudging where each other’s cheeks were so it ended up being half mouth, half cheek. We pulled away and laughed.
‘Bye darlin.’
‘Bye handsome.’
As I walked I thought more about what he had said in regards to our ‘missed opportunity.’ It could have been a joke, but even if it wasn’t, our miscommunication regarding initial attraction was fine by me. Don’t get me wrong, Lad Boy is lovely and could perhaps be a suitable partner. When he’s about fifty. Though even then it’s questionable as to whether or not he’ll settle down.
I walked through college and texted Dale.
I’m back, are you around? xx
Sure am, want to come over? xx He texted back straight away.
On my way! xx
My heart started pounding a bit harder and my stomach did some weird flippity floppity move as I got closer to Dale’s room. I knocked on his door and I heard some scrambling, then some fumbling with the lock, and then a swift open of the door. ‘Hi!’ Dale said, beaming.
‘Hi,’ I said, smiling back at him.
He wrapped his arms around my waist as I locked my hands behind his neck and we kissed. He pulled away from my face a couple of centimetres, resting his forehead against mine and still smiling. ‘Hi.’
I laughed. ‘You already said that.’
‘Oh.’ He said, and then pressed his lips back against mine.
And that story just there is the closest thing I can come to describing the difference between loving someone and being in love.
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