Whenever I see someone riding their bicycle with their hands in their pockets, I hope they fall. Is that bad?
I have a tradition that after my last lecture on Fridays I like to go sit in the pub nearest to my department, have a pint, and read the Times. A few Fridays back I was sitting and reading the Times 2 from Wednesday. Why Wednesday? Because someone had nicked the Friday paper from the library before I could, so I grabbed Wednesday’s instead.
I turned to Sarah Vine’s article on what Ricky Gervais tells us about British humour because I didn’t particularly care about gangs in Los Angeles playing cricket. It was just after the Golden Globes and everyone was still all up in arms over his performance as host. I would have to admit with Sarah’s sentiment that we here on this glorious island find it “cool to be cruel” as she puts it. Ricky’s speech showed up on my facebook homepage after a friend posted it and Sarah is right – it’s bloody hilarious. Spot on, indeed. Have a look at this comedy genius:
I just watched it again. Fantastic!
Do you want to go see Cher?
No.
Why not?
Because it's not 1975.
Ahhh, goodness. Well played, sir.
Like Sarah, I too was teased at one point in my life – who wasn’t though, honestly? But it hardened me a bit and for some time I decided to fight fire with fire.
You’re fat.
Yeah? Well, you’re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Ooh, nothing to say to that, love? Good, I’ll be on the slide. Little girls are cruel. I look back at pictures from then – I wasn’t even fat! What was that dozy cow going on about? Either way, it was very early in life that I began hanging around with boys more than I did with girls. There was no need for my bitchy retorts and I got to spend time playing football and Nintendo, not crying because I was wearing the wrong brand of clothing. The only fashion faux pas one could make with blokes would be to wear a Man United jersey.
As we grew up the boys got fitter and the girls got meaner, as I was still mates with the boys – but now these boys were dating said mean girls.
As Sarah points out, being cruel may be in our culture, but it doesn’t make it any less tragic for those on the receiving end. The internet allows anyone to say anything about other people. Not too long ago I launched a public attack on Cosmo magazine (see Why Pot Noodle is Better Than Cosmopolitan Magazine). Anonymously. There were absolutely no repercussions for what I did, but I’m not so stubborn that I’m unwilling to let people tell me I’m wrong, which is why I appealed to Millie to write a response and offered to publish it on the blog. She responded via Twitter, saying:
@SexAtOxbridge I absolutely appreciate your feedback, but disagree with a few things (you are probably unsurprised to hear).
Unsurprised, yes.
@SexAtOxbridge 1) All the great art, literature and music is about love. It’s ultimately what drives us. So yes, I think it will be amazing.
Agreed, it is amazing. Not so amazing that it should dominate all hopes and dreams of the future however.
@SexAtOxbridge 2) I am in no way desperate. I don't want children. My next column covers that part quite well: I hope you get to read it.
I didn’t.
@SexAtOxbridge 3) Beef and tomato Pot Noodles are way better than Chicken and Mushroom. Fact.
Mmm, you had me at ‘beef and tomato’.
@SexAtOxbridge It's hard to put all your opinions into 500 words, but I promise I'm not man-obsessed or desperate. And I heart noodles.
I heart noodles as well. I don’t heart people saying ‘I heart ___’ though …
@SexAtOxbridge I'm just a romantic who loves the idea of love, even if I'm happy being single. Like I say, good to hear your opinion though!
This is fair enough, what’s not to love about the idea of love? It is quite nice. I’m glad I had a chance to hear her opinion as well. She makes valid points, and I think I may have had a more extreme reading of her column, but I still stick by what I said about the general female obsession with men. They’re smelly and they fart a lot, go read some books that you can talk about because I’m still not interested in hearing the ins and outs of your facebook chat session with him.
Does our culture condone and reward this bullying behaviour, as Sarah suggests? Absolutely. Laughing at other people’s misfortunes is in our nature. Chief amongst our bullies is definitely Simon Cowell, and I doubt he secretly cries when people plead for him to stop wearing t-shirts he bought at Baby Gap. In fact he probably laughs. Yep, laughs all the way to the bank because that man has made a fortune from being mean.
Making fun of your friends is easy because you know them so well. Boys do it to show affection without fear that it will come off as a homosexual advance towards their mates. I do it often because I hang out with boys so much that it’s become second nature to greet people with some sort of derogatory name. That works fine with boys … not so much with girls. I jokingly made an insensitive remark towards Briony that everybody laughed at, but immediately felt a pang of guilt. I later apologised, but she apparently thought it was funny as well.
‘Do you think I tease you too much?’ I asked.
‘No.’
Wrong move. I had been willing to present her with a peace offering and pledge to stop bullying her, but seeing as she practically admitted to liking it, I’ve continued to use her at the butt of my jokes. I just do it less in front of other people.
Bullying is fine if it’s in jest and amongst friends. Being teased by friends is almost like saying ‘you’re one of the gang’ – and some would call me the gang leader in some cases. I need to remember sometimes though what got me into the gang – a childhood of being on the receiving end and refusing to take part in the malicious banter.
Right then, I’m going to ride to the library on my moral high horse and probably do nothing more than swipe today’s Times then go sit in the pub (it’s practically Friday). I’ll let you know what gems I find in today’s Times 2.
Ta ta for now, lovers xx
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